On the Tumultuous Ride that is Becoming Fully Alive

Roller Coasters, Big Fear, and Being with the Wisdom of the moment

Last week a good friend asked me how building the business was going. I immediately recalled this series of tweets, the first of which was included in the first edition of this newsletter:

GuruAnaerobic @GuruAnaerobic

After I left full-time employment (because I hated it). Timeline: - Celebration - Freedom - Happiness - Dread - The void - Doubt - Indecision - Tinkering (trying things out) - Success/failure/mistakes - Learning - More tinkering - Crazy ideas (good & bad) - Self-dissection

GuruAnaerobic @GuruAnaerobic

- Anxiety - Fear - Cynicism - Tinkering - No money - Lots of money - Celebration - Inaction - Random opportunities - Help from others - Buying assets - Making money - Feeling like a king - Losing money - Losing more money - Having no money - Debt - Reframing 'debt' - No fear

GuruAnaerobic @GuruAnaerobic

- Not taking life personally - Taking life personally - Regular walks thru cemeteries - False starts - False dawns - Determination - Mental toughness (no longer scared) - FU attitude (to my situation) - Finding out what I’m good at (and like) - Concentrating on that

GuruAnaerobic @GuruAnaerobic

- Cut off from mainstream society - Developing my interest - Making money - It’s a game, and the game never ends - Satisfaction - Self-knowledge - Help others

This series of tweets captures the wild ride that is becoming fully expressed, fully alive, and conscious better than anything else I’ve come across.

Many of us play this game in secret. We found companies, become leaders, or transition to self-employment, yet what we truly seek in our heart of hearts is our full aliveness—to come into our true self.

That process is one hell of a roller coaster ride. I was at a retreat where Jim Dethmer of the Conscious Leadership Group said that there are three big fears that often come up in the process of becoming fully expressed:

1. I will kill everyone

2. I will fuck everything

3. I will go absolutely insane

Walking up to the edge of our fears—in this case the fear that my anger will take over and lead me to violence, my sexual energy will take over and lead me to a horrible mistake, or I will go absolutely insane if I just let my energy flow—is a hallmark of the process of uncovering true self and becoming fully alive. Regardless of what your Big Fears are, they will arise on the path to true self.

If you can face your Big Fears and simply be with them, they contain a massive download of information. Answering the call of fear simply requires sitting with it—being with the fear and not making it a problem. This means being with the sensation of fear in our body and moving it through so that we can receive its message, often a message about ourself, the world, and how we relate to and be in it.

Few of us have experience being with fear and little guidance regarding how. We view those sensations, the raw experience of fear, as something to resist or solve. This resistance is the second arrow of suffering on the roller coaster: the ride itself is already harrowing, and we make it more so by fighting against it.

Not that there’s anything wrong, with all of that. They’re all hallmarks of the journey 🙂

So if you’re in your process and notice any of the above, know that you’re right where you need to be. Let yourself be with it—the rich wisdom this moment has to offer you.

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If the tweets above weren’t sufficiently illustrative, here’s a fun video to add some joy to your life and more viscerally demonstrate what it’s like to be on the path: https://www.facebook.com/reel/3670406363186626

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