LL #40 | On Settling, Worry, and Nurturing yourself

Life gravitates to where you settle. Worry solves nothing. Don’t make yourself the enemy.

Only Settle for What You’re Okay Living With

The quality of your life gravitates toward what you're willing to settle for.

If you want good, don't settle for ok. And if you want great, don't settle for good.

This applies everywhere: work, relationships, skills. The less you're willing to settle, the better it gets.

Use Worry, Don’t let it Use You

Worry doesn't solve anything.

It's really only good for identifying problems.

When you're worried:

1. Have compassion for yourself

2. Ask, what am I afraid is going to happen?

3. Ask, what can I do about it? What's within my locus of control?

Then do that thing, and rest easy.

Be Your Own Ally

The central challenge in self-development is to not make current you an enemy, obstacle, or inconvenience that is merely in the way of who you want to be.

Instead, nurture and tend to your current wholeness, so that it may flower into the next evolution of that wholeness.

We don't view the seed as an obstacle the flower must overcome.

We don't view the sapling as an inconvenience on the way to a tree.

Nor should we view our current self as a problem in the way of our fully realized self.

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🐦Tweets of the Week

Moving on from Setbacks

Thematically related to not sitting in worry: not sitting in self-blame.

Dr. Julie Gurner @drgurner

Protip: When you take a hit, learn and move quickly from that headspace. Feel it in the moment, assess the damage...and refocus onward. Never mentally stay in places you do not wish to live.

I’ll say it again for everyone in the back: “Never mentally stay in places you do not with to live.”

Putting Rest First

Sahil Bloom @SahilBloom

I stopped experiencing burnout as soon as I made free time and rest a core part of my daily systems—rather than a reward for my efforts.

This is a commonality for all elite competitors: much of their plan assigns priority to rest, and fits in the work around it.

Stay Fluid

Justin Su'a @Justinsua

Keep your process fluid. Look for indicators that signal change. Circumstances shift. Environments evolve. Opponents adjust. Being rigid in how you do things doesn’t necessarily mean you own your process, but perhaps your process owns you. Update as needed.

What once worked won’t always. Don’t let the rules you make for yourself become a prison. Continuously Evolve.

Skills that Compliment Introspection

Brian Wang @brianmwang

Introspection is worthless without the ability to detect your own bullshit

Introspection without being able to call your own bullshit is mental masturbation. Don’t get trapped in cognitive emotional loops. Make sure your introspection aims to go somewhere new, not just reinforce where you are.

Be Careful with Advice

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. @CoreyWilksPsyD

Before you take someone else's advice on how you should live your life, ask these questions: • Are they as successful as they claim to be? • Do their strategies work for my situation? • Is this someone I want to be more like? Remember to do what's best for you. Not them.

Advice is a dime a dozen. Make sure you only listen to it when it’s calibrated to what you actually want.

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Questions of the Week

1. Where are you settling for something that’s less than you want? What’s one step you can take to improve it?

2. Where are you letting worry take over your life? What are you afraid of? What can you do about? Then take that action.

3. What’s one thing that you can do to nurture yourself over the coming week?