I have a confession. I’ve fallen back in love with questions. Really good questions, in particular.
Questions are the single thing that drive us to learn and grow. They are our verbal vehicle to the unknown. The question mark represents one of the most powerful forces in human history: the desire to consider that which we do not know.
That we were born with capacity for such considerations is a miraculous gift. Questions are the seed to that which makes everything in life interesting. A really good question is delicious.
I want to make a clear delineation here: good questions and really good questions are not the same thing. Not at all. That’s not to bash good questions, but a really good question has something else going on.
A good question makes you think differently. It opens the door to a fact that you might have missed or a perspective you might not be considering. A good question generally comes from a place of knowing—you see something that someone else is blind to and invite them to see that thing.
A really good question, on the other hand, comes from a place of curiosity—someone sees something that you are both blind to and invites you to explore that thing. A really good question cuts through all of your stories, beliefs, and opinions to get to the essence of something. It doesn’t try to go with or against your current line of reasoning. Instead, it encourages you to visit the foundation and build up from first principles. Really good questions are sort of like psychedelics: they help you get outside of yourself and your current ways of being.
The hallmark of a really good question is that it’s simple. Almost laughably so. It might even seem dumb. Really good questions look really stupid when you’re wrapped up in seriousness, intellectualization, and complexity. They look silly in these cases because you’re trying to solve a gordian knot by untangling it, and really good questions act like a sword. They untangle the knot by slicing it in half. They invite you into something entirely different, often breaking the “rules” of your current frame.
Here’s a list of some my favorite really good questions.
Some Really Good Questions
What do you want?
When do you want it by?
What’s in the way of that?
Are you willing to do what it takes to get it?
What are you afraid of giving up to make it happen?
What if you could have it in 1/10th the time?
What is one small step you can take to get started?
What is one radical action you can take to create a breakthrough?
What would you do if you were unafraid?
What if this wasn’t actually a problem?
What would the best version of you do?
What would you do if you were willing to be vulnerable?
What would you do if you weren’t concerned with being right?
What would you do if you were only interested in learning?
What would you do if you if you were playing for exactly what you want?
What is your intuition telling you?
What different parts of you are present in this conversation? What are they saying?
Can you accept yourself just as you are?
What does it mean to you?
What are some of your favorite really good questions?
Excellent article.
I reword these questions:
- What’s in the way of that?
- What are you afraid of giving up to make it happen?
To be:
- What's stopping you from doing it?
- Why haven't you done it yet?